As the train rolls into Ipswich this morning, I notice that
I am becoming increasingly unsettled because I am unable to connect. To the
Internet that is.
I am not sure when the transition happened. When being able
to successfully be tethered to electronic devices became defined as
“connectivity”. I do know that is exactly how I define it though.
When I was a kid (back when dinosaurs roamed the earth) our
phone was attached to the wall by this coiled cord that became longer as I
stretched it to my room for privacy. We
had to write down phone numbers on pieces of paper, put them in our address
books, go home or use cash to call people from payphones, and keep trying until
they answered because there were no answering machines. Nor was there call
waiting…there was a busy signal if they were otherwise engaged, allowing them,
or you conversely, to focus on one conversation at a time, without cutting
someone off because of something or someone “more important”.
This quickly gave way to the call waiting, cordless phone,
and answering machine era, where you didn’t have to try AS hard to connect with
people, but you still had to try. When you left home, you always made sure
there was a dime or a quarter in your shoe (I wore Kangaroos which had a handy
zipped pocket in them, so no coins in my socks) so that you could call someone
in an emergency. And if there was an actual emergency, you could stop at a neighbor’s
house (or a strangers) and ask to make a phone call…and they would let you.
I was in my mid twenties when phones not attached to the
home happened. I remember car phones and those insanely large bag phones, but
only police or wealthy people had those. Car phones were built in, had a cord
attaching them to the car, and cost a LOT of money to use. Box phones looked
like the military command centers from movies, with extractable antennae, and
such lousy service that it would have been more effective to use two cans with
a string instead.
But cell phones…the magic of having a phone in your pocket,
being able to reach anyone, from anywhere!! 300 MINUTES A MONTH for 50 dollars
was my first plan, and I always went over. Plans changed, evolved, got
“better”…as did the phones. Soon we were sending email, and eventually text
messages rather than calling. Texts could only contain 60 characters, so we
began abbreviating and misspelling words to match that criterion and
unfortunately our verbal language and dictionaries now reflect texting.
The sheer magic of instant gratification had everyone in its
grasp. Cell phones continued to infiltrate even the most private and intimate
moments of our lives, like the gym and the bathroom. I was bit by the bug, caught up in the
connectivity revolution like everyone else. Using my “free nights and weekends”
to call people I never would have called from a land line, I stopped
remembering or even writing down phone numbers, and I stopped seeing people as
having lives beyond my ability to contact them
No longer was privacy expected or respected. If the phone
wasn’t answered then it was somehow a personal affront to the caller. I cannot
count how many times I have gotten the question “WHERE WERE YOU??? I tried
calling x times”, or conversely, how many times I have asked the question
myself. My phone is now a book, a computer, a t.v., a camera, a game center, a radio, an
address book…OH…and a phone. It is powerful. It is wonderful and awful.
I long for eye contact. I long for conversations where the
conversation I am in is more important than the person texting you OR me. I
long for day trips where enjoying the place I am and the person I am with are
my focus. I long for privacy, both yours and mine. I long for the feeling that
I am able to be…without your validation or judgment…which I open myself up to
through social media. I long to feel secure in my life without a cell tower
within my phones radius.
I guess that what I am saying is that I want to connect,
because honestly my connectivity has left me feeling disconnected.
